Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Distance
it's 3.33am. with a final impatient roll, he opened his eyes the last time for the night. the original plan of forcing himself to sleep and waking up to desolation was not going to work. his idea of a last resort to sleep did cross his mind, but wanking with this level of heartache would require an unusually high level of dementedness and concentration. the latter would be impossible, his brain is on fire.
so like most people do in these situations, he grabbed his towel and turned on the shower heater. with the water running down his face, the choices suddenly became clear. to go or not to go. it was not until one hour later when he finally surrendered. he got dressed and ran down the flights of stairs with such exhilaration he wouldn't know if he broke his ankle. in the stillness of the night road he outstretched his arm to a distant blue light. god must be a cab driver.
'uncle changi airport. 驾快一点，求求你。'
god was a woman too in this case. he didn't noticed it until he paid the fare. visibly flustered, his mind was replaying different countless scenarios to which none will come into play. he wanted the cab to go faster, the flight was in 27 minutes. he wished the cab would go slower, he needed to conjure a perfect plan to this wretched situation of his own. what to say? what to do? will anyone else be there? why am i even on this cab?? the mindfucks went on for another 14 minutes.
the airport. dead poets might have wrote better poems if they lived on to be inspired by it. a place where emotions are displayed in polarity; Arrival and Departure.
mentally and physically exhausted, he stood in the middle of the departure hall with a look of bewilderment, straight out from a movie scene. it didn't take too long for him to recognise the graceful silhouette from a distance. she was that special.
everything he thought of saying or doing, all the mental solutions he had, they were gone. with locked knees he found himself walking behind the pillar. he was not ready. standing upright against the cold wall, he felt he was about to have a panic attack. he was deaf to the announcement on the PA to check-in, until he saw people started waving goodbyes to their loved ones. it was then he felt the only words that mattered to him, his brain screaming the truth as if it was from another person. 'i can't let you go.'
now or never.
he turned and walked towards her. every cautious step became more determined, more convicted. he tried calling out her name, his throat was too dry. he hesitated for a second, swallowed, and called out again. he stood there rooted as she turned her head, her short hair flopping sideways to reveal her beautiful face. he couldn't hold his tension any longer. he walked straight to her, wanting to collapse in her embrace, needing to tell her how badly he needs her. what greeted him when she was finally aware of his presence, stopped him entirely in his tracks, and took the breath out of his lungs. he knew it was over.
she smiled. a kind, cheery, radiant, toothy smile. the beautiful smile that he fell in love with, was now the very smile that brought the world down on him. he didn't move, he didn't know where to look, he still couldn't breathe.
she walked up and inspected his lifeless widened-eyed face, still smiling.
'hey! glad u could come. would have bet you'll be sleeping.'
a final announcement hurried the remaining few passengers.
'gosh i gotta run. call u when i'm over there ya?'
she dropped her luggage and tiptoed to wrap her arms over his shoulders. he tried lifting both his shivering arms to return her courtesy, but by then all he saw was her back view, joining her que, and leaving for good.
he turned and started to take small, heavy steps. he found an empty cubicle in the toilet. with the door locked and the seat lowered, he could finally breathe.
so like most people do in these situations, he grabbed his towel and turned on the shower heater. with the water running down his face, the choices suddenly became clear. to go or not to go. it was not until one hour later when he finally surrendered. he got dressed and ran down the flights of stairs with such exhilaration he wouldn't know if he broke his ankle. in the stillness of the night road he outstretched his arm to a distant blue light. god must be a cab driver.
'uncle changi airport. 驾快一点，求求你。'
god was a woman too in this case. he didn't noticed it until he paid the fare. visibly flustered, his mind was replaying different countless scenarios to which none will come into play. he wanted the cab to go faster, the flight was in 27 minutes. he wished the cab would go slower, he needed to conjure a perfect plan to this wretched situation of his own. what to say? what to do? will anyone else be there? why am i even on this cab?? the mindfucks went on for another 14 minutes.
the airport. dead poets might have wrote better poems if they lived on to be inspired by it. a place where emotions are displayed in polarity; Arrival and Departure.
mentally and physically exhausted, he stood in the middle of the departure hall with a look of bewilderment, straight out from a movie scene. it didn't take too long for him to recognise the graceful silhouette from a distance. she was that special.
everything he thought of saying or doing, all the mental solutions he had, they were gone. with locked knees he found himself walking behind the pillar. he was not ready. standing upright against the cold wall, he felt he was about to have a panic attack. he was deaf to the announcement on the PA to check-in, until he saw people started waving goodbyes to their loved ones. it was then he felt the only words that mattered to him, his brain screaming the truth as if it was from another person. 'i can't let you go.'
now or never.
he turned and walked towards her. every cautious step became more determined, more convicted. he tried calling out her name, his throat was too dry. he hesitated for a second, swallowed, and called out again. he stood there rooted as she turned her head, her short hair flopping sideways to reveal her beautiful face. he couldn't hold his tension any longer. he walked straight to her, wanting to collapse in her embrace, needing to tell her how badly he needs her. what greeted him when she was finally aware of his presence, stopped him entirely in his tracks, and took the breath out of his lungs. he knew it was over.
she smiled. a kind, cheery, radiant, toothy smile. the beautiful smile that he fell in love with, was now the very smile that brought the world down on him. he didn't move, he didn't know where to look, he still couldn't breathe.
she walked up and inspected his lifeless widened-eyed face, still smiling.
'hey! glad u could come. would have bet you'll be sleeping.'
a final announcement hurried the remaining few passengers.
'gosh i gotta run. call u when i'm over there ya?'
she dropped her luggage and tiptoed to wrap her arms over his shoulders. he tried lifting both his shivering arms to return her courtesy, but by then all he saw was her back view, joining her que, and leaving for good.
he turned and started to take small, heavy steps. he found an empty cubicle in the toilet. with the door locked and the seat lowered, he could finally breathe.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
EH UNCLE! PLEASE? I NEED TO SHIT!
fucking world. why the fuck should a man pay 10c to take a piss. to pay the cleaners who don't fucking clean the toilets. it only makes matters worse. for vengeful people like me, urgent with a full bladder and finally finding a toilet after climbing stairs, stopped by a nose picking aunty smelling shit all day, making a detour to buy a random product to squeeze a 10c change, only to find the fucking urinals drowned in pee, the cubicles scattered and splashed with all shades of brown and red, and no soap. imagine a deranged and now enraged man with ammo. yep. i found the biegiest and pinkest loo and unloaded 514ml of yellow with my supersoaker all over the fucking floor. orgasmic high.
ever gotten interrupted during your meal by a tissue seller? especially those pushy ones that just looks on at you after you say no. they are usually disabled in some form and i'm not making fun of their disability, and i have no qualms over their occupation. to me it's simple. they are selling sympathy, and people who buy are getting empowerment. buying from them doesn't give u good karma or make u a better person, all u gain are the overpriced tissues. yea ok i'm just building up to a hypothetical question. here goes.
i lost my wallet during lunch hour, and i scrambled around the hawker center looking all over for it. my anxiety, movement, and sweat made the inevitable happen. it had awakened the big brown monster, and 16 smaller ones in descending order. deep shit is in me. everyone knows the feeling. suddenly your face turns white, u start salivating in your mouth, and u cant walk properly cause the slimy feeling builds up with every step u take. i am taking a huge battle to the toilet, but a war this big, savage and hopefully not bloody would require bandages, 2 packets of it. it was then i saw my savior jesus in the form of a blind crippled man. but i lost my wallet and could only find a 20c coin in my pocket. so like how they themselves draw and gain sympathy from others, i did on them.
'eh uncle 20c for 2 packets can? save me it's really coming out!'
can they show sympathy to someone less fortunate than them in that instant?
do people like you think it's morally wrong to haggle with a disabled person over a product they sell?
am i full of shit?
ever gotten interrupted during your meal by a tissue seller? especially those pushy ones that just looks on at you after you say no. they are usually disabled in some form and i'm not making fun of their disability, and i have no qualms over their occupation. to me it's simple. they are selling sympathy, and people who buy are getting empowerment. buying from them doesn't give u good karma or make u a better person, all u gain are the overpriced tissues. yea ok i'm just building up to a hypothetical question. here goes.
i lost my wallet during lunch hour, and i scrambled around the hawker center looking all over for it. my anxiety, movement, and sweat made the inevitable happen. it had awakened the big brown monster, and 16 smaller ones in descending order. deep shit is in me. everyone knows the feeling. suddenly your face turns white, u start salivating in your mouth, and u cant walk properly cause the slimy feeling builds up with every step u take. i am taking a huge battle to the toilet, but a war this big, savage and hopefully not bloody would require bandages, 2 packets of it. it was then i saw my savior jesus in the form of a blind crippled man. but i lost my wallet and could only find a 20c coin in my pocket. so like how they themselves draw and gain sympathy from others, i did on them.
'eh uncle 20c for 2 packets can? save me it's really coming out!'
can they show sympathy to someone less fortunate than them in that instant?
do people like you think it's morally wrong to haggle with a disabled person over a product they sell?
am i full of shit?
月球上的人
having a relationship with eason's music is truly a fulfilling journey. it is consistently good, sprinkled with pleasant surprises along the way, and u know he doesn't do half fucks leaving u unsatisfied. he gives it to u good and leaves u begging for more. i've done my fair share too, introducing his music to everyone i know and singing it to everyone i don't. sweet sweet love.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
my 1st caucasian
it's been a while since i've done this. usually i do it 2-3 times a year. men engage this service for many reasons, most do it for self confidence, some liking the process itself, others like myself simply coudn't take it anymore. blame the weather.
i popped my head into the room expecting the usual asian woman, and to my complete utter surprise it was a blonde caucasian with heavy make up. ask any man, and he would say the first thing he's worried about is the price tag. she immediately made me feel comfortable and made me sit down. she started to fiddle her fingers around the area and squeezed.
'Wow. It's long and thick! So how would u like it? Behind? Sideways?'
'As u please. Just do a good job.'
so half an hour later with her giant boobs hanging over my face, the job is done. i washed up and looked at myself in the mirror. i regretted it like i always do. i paid up and walked away.
i can never get a decent haircut, but at least its cooler now.
i popped my head into the room expecting the usual asian woman, and to my complete utter surprise it was a blonde caucasian with heavy make up. ask any man, and he would say the first thing he's worried about is the price tag. she immediately made me feel comfortable and made me sit down. she started to fiddle her fingers around the area and squeezed.
'Wow. It's long and thick! So how would u like it? Behind? Sideways?'
'As u please. Just do a good job.'
so half an hour later with her giant boobs hanging over my face, the job is done. i washed up and looked at myself in the mirror. i regretted it like i always do. i paid up and walked away.
i can never get a decent haircut, but at least its cooler now.
Friday, July 03, 2009
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