Wednesday, July 08, 2009

EH UNCLE! PLEASE? I NEED TO SHIT!

fucking world. why the fuck should a man pay 10c to take a piss. to pay the cleaners who don't fucking clean the toilets. it only makes matters worse. for vengeful people like me, urgent with a full bladder and finally finding a toilet after climbing stairs, stopped by a nose picking aunty smelling shit all day, making a detour to buy a random product to squeeze a 10c change, only to find the fucking urinals drowned in pee, the cubicles scattered and splashed with all shades of brown and red, and no soap. imagine a deranged and now enraged man with ammo. yep. i found the biegiest and pinkest loo and unloaded 514ml of yellow with my supersoaker all over the fucking floor. orgasmic high.

ever gotten interrupted during your meal by a tissue seller? especially those pushy ones that just looks on at you after you say no. they are usually disabled in some form and i'm not making fun of their disability, and i have no qualms over their occupation. to me it's simple. they are selling sympathy, and people who buy are getting empowerment. buying from them doesn't give u good karma or make u a better person, all u gain are the overpriced tissues. yea ok i'm just building up to a hypothetical question. here goes.

i lost my wallet during lunch hour, and i scrambled around the hawker center looking all over for it. my anxiety, movement, and sweat made the inevitable happen. it had awakened the big brown monster, and 16 smaller ones in descending order. deep shit is in me. everyone knows the feeling. suddenly your face turns white, u start salivating in your mouth, and u cant walk properly cause the slimy feeling builds up with every step u take. i am taking a huge battle to the toilet, but a war this big, savage and hopefully not bloody would require bandages, 2 packets of it. it was then i saw my savior jesus in the form of a blind crippled man. but i lost my wallet and could only find a 20c coin in my pocket. so like how they themselves draw and gain sympathy from others, i did on them.
'eh uncle 20c for 2 packets can? save me it's really coming out!'

can they show sympathy to someone less fortunate than them in that instant?
do people like you think it's morally wrong to haggle with a disabled person over a product they sell?
am i full of shit?

月球上的人



having a relationship with eason's music is truly a fulfilling journey. it is consistently good, sprinkled with pleasant surprises along the way, and u know he doesn't do half fucks leaving u unsatisfied. he gives it to u good and leaves u begging for more. i've done my fair share too, introducing his music to everyone i know and singing it to everyone i don't. sweet sweet love.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

my 1st caucasian

it's been a while since i've done this. usually i do it 2-3 times a year. men engage this service for many reasons, most do it for self confidence, some liking the process itself, others like myself simply coudn't take it anymore. blame the weather.
i popped my head into the room expecting the usual asian woman, and to my complete utter surprise it was a blonde caucasian with heavy make up. ask any man, and he would say the first thing he's worried about is the price tag. she immediately made me feel comfortable and made me sit down. she started to fiddle her fingers around the area and squeezed.
'Wow. It's long and thick! So how would u like it? Behind? Sideways?'
'As u please. Just do a good job.'
so half an hour later with her giant boobs hanging over my face, the job is done. i washed up and looked at myself in the mirror. i regretted it like i always do. i paid up and walked away.
i can never get a decent haircut, but at least its cooler now.

Friday, July 03, 2009

不见不散

bridesmaids from hell.